Jack's Camp Friends Newsletter |
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Last week, kids taped me to a tree and turned me into an ice cream sundae. With some ketchup and mustard for good measure.
I just hung there grinning while a couple hundred kids lost their minds.
It was the dumbest thing I did all summer. Maybe it was also the most useful?
It started as a Gold Rush casino prize where the winners got to duct tape me to a tree and throw the literal kitchen sink on top. But the tape and the condiments aren’t why it worked. Check out the full buildup here.
When else does a kid get to do that to a grownup?
All year, adults tell them where to be and what to do. Then one afternoon, they get to tape the guy who runs the whole place to a tree and hose him down with ketchup.
It’s completely backward which ends up being most of the appeal.
Now put that next to something way quieter. A counselor sitting cross-legged in the dirt making a friendship bracelet with one kid. Or jumping into Newcomb instead of reffing it from the sideline.
It’s the same move as the tree, minus the tape.
In Front vs. Alongside
Most of what we do as staff is in front. Running the activity, leading assembly, that whole standing-out-front, telling-everyone-what’s-next role. It’s real, and it matters.
But it’s not the part kids talk about on the bus home. The stuff that sticks is what we do alongside them, down on their level. The stuff they actually want to do.
And this is what’s going on underneath it (the part I most want the staff to get). Kids can feel the difference between what an adult has to do and what they choose to do.
Leading assembly is my job. Getting turned into a sundae is very much not, and every kid knows it. Because they know I didn’t have to, I think it counts for more.
The discretionary stuff on a smaller scale, like reading with a kid at rest hour, coming back early from off duty just to hang out, lands as “I picked you.” That’s where the connection actually gets built.
Why We All Default to the Front
Left to everyone’s own instincts, most staff camp out in front. It feels safer, and it feels like the job, especially for new staff who think their whole value is running a tight activity.
So the thing I’m hoping to try to do is make the alongside moments visible and tell people it’s okay to lean into them. It helps to give them a little ladder.
Step #1 is in front, calling the plays.
Step #2 is the smaller circle, in the conversation instead of running it.
Step #3 is one-on-one, a bracelet or a catch with a single kid.
Almost all the connection happens on #2 and #3, and so often staff get caught on one.
Then there’s the objection, and you’ll hear it from staff and probably from yourself.
Doesn’t goofing around, or getting down on the kids’ level cost you authority?
I really don’t think so. If anything, it runs the other way. Do the stuff kids love with them first. Then sitting down for the hard conversation, the homesick night, whatever it is, gets so much easier. Respect and silliness aren’t a trade-off.
So often this stuff doesn’t make it onto a schedule, which is kind of the whole problem and also the whole point. We plan every minute of the in-front stuff. The alongside we just sort of hope happens.
Good news is it doesn’t take a long summer or a big budget. For us, it’s mostly meant naming it out loud and leaving room for it.
And when we do that, then there might be just enough time to get duct taped to a tree and covered with chocolate sauce and condiments.
You got this,
Jack
PS - We are still rocking with Write From Camp on Substack all summer. 3x per week. Check it out.
